Alright, Chat.
Let’s get into it.
Episode 3! Let’s start with a big list summary of everything we’ve come up with so far for this story.
Full Story Summary (So Far)
Title (Tentative): Polly Olly Oxen Free
A standalone portal fantasy with cozy vibes and a darker undertone. Inspired by Alice in Wonderland, the story explores escapism, control, and the realization that even structured worlds are fabrications that must be maintained.
Core Themes & Conflict:
Contrast between worlds: The real world is chaotic and nonsensical, while the portal world appears structured and logical.
Escapism vs. Reality: Pol initially treats the portal world as an escape, but overuse makes it addictive — eventually, it turns on her and forces her to confront her real-world struggles.
Loss of Control: In the real world, everything she relied on has unraveled. The portal world provides an illusion of control — until she realizes even order requires maintenance.
Protagonist: Polly “Pol” [Last Name TBD]
Older teen (17–18), finishing her senior year.
Once a Pollyanna type but now leans on sarcasm and cynicism to cope.
Fears being unprepared for life. The portal world appeals to her because everything she needs is structured and obtainable (inventory, crafting tables, task lists).
Struggles with emotions — her old Pollyanna mindset wasn’t real optimism, just stuffing emotions down. She doesn’t yet understand that true optimism requires acknowledging reality.
What Broke Her Faith in the World?
A cascade of losses, all at once:
Best friend in a coma after a car accident (caused by a rushed delivery truck backing into them).
Lost her track scholarship due to injuries from the accident.
Can’t run anymore, which was her main stress relief.
Parents struggling financially with medical bills, tuition, and raising her younger twin siblings (8 years younger).
Her planned career (architecture?) became obsolete due to an AI breakthrough.
She never prepared for failure because she believed that if she worked hard and stayed positive, things would work out. Now, she has no plan, no purpose, and no clear path forward.
Her Real-World Relationships:
Family:
Father: Used to have a militaristic, disciplined approach but softened after a heart attack.
When Pol lost her scholarship, he started reverting to his old strict ways.
The twins don’t know how to handle this “new” version of their dad, and Pol initially has no sympathy for them.
Mother: Has a chronic illness and is often mentally and physically absent.
Pol didn’t understand her mom’s struggles before, but now that she’s injured, she’s starting to relate — while still resenting her.
Twin Siblings:
Pol adores them but resents how differently they were raised.
She feels her childhood was stricter, whereas they get more freedom.
They are the ones who introduce her to the Wonderland game.
Love Interest (Neighbor & Childhood Friend):
Someone Pol previously rejected for being too pessimistic — but in reality, they were just a realist.
They work at the same grocery store and live nearby, so they check in on her after the accident.
They bring over their handheld console, which sparks Pol’s renewed interest in gaming.
They knew the real Pol growing up, which makes her uncomfortable.
Their reconnection helps her realize that life isn’t black and white — an important step toward accepting uncertainty.
Other Real-World Characters:
Best Friend’s Parents: Want to pull the plug, saying that hope has limits.
Pol sees this as a betrayal — her best friend was the most optimistic person she knew.
Boss from Work: Frustrated and impatient about whether Pol will return to her job.
Track Coach: Keeps sending team updates and encouragement, but this feels torturous rather than uplifting.
Physical Therapist: Overly optimistic, dismisses Pol’s frustration.
Inspires her to consider a career path involving human-to-human work (something AI can’t replace).
Her Physical & Emotional State:
Stuck at home, recovering. Not allowed to get out of bed yet due to injuries.
PT is frustratingly slow, making her question if she was ever truly disciplined or just naturally gifted.
She is pulling away from everyone — family, friends, and even herself.
Her bedroom and house are chaotic, messy, and disorganized.
She is physically unable to clean or control her space, which makes her irate.
Portal World & How She Enters It:
She is the great-great-grandniece of Alice (revealed later).
Given a pocket watch locket as a birthday gift by her eccentric Uncle Alison (Ali).
Uncle Alison = White Rabbit Figure (a leatherworker & antique collector, think Jack Sparrow meets Adam Lambert meets Hook from Once Upon a Time).
He says the watch “finds those who need it most.”
While playing an Animal Crossing-style game, a new bunny NPC appears on screen.
She interacts with it and gets pulled into the portal world.
Portal World Mechanics (Current Ideas):
Initially, she can return at will.
Over time, the world pulls her in more frequently and for longer periods.
Eventually, it won’t let her leave until she “fixes” something.
Her real-world anxieties manifest in a separate “zone” of the game, forcing her to confront them.
Next Steps (Episode 3 Focus):
Refining the portal world’s mechanics (How does it work? What are its rules?)
Defining the portal world’s aesthetic (What does it look and feel like?)
Mapping out how the portal world challenges Pol over time.
Would you like to brainstorm mechanics first, or should we define the world’s atmosphere and aesthetic before diving into the rules?
Well done!
Will you take a second look and see if there was anything that was excluded during the summarizing process but seems important enough to note?
Great idea! I took a second look, and here are a few additional details that weren’t explicitly stated but may be worth noting:
Missed or Underemphasized Details:
Pol’s Relationship with Her Best Friend Before the Accident
We’ve covered the accident and aftermath, but we didn’t explicitly note that:
Pol and her best friend used their car rides as their main time to connect.
Her best friend was the most optimistic person she knew, possibly even more than Pol herself before everything fell apart.
If her best friend had flaws or struggles that Pol overlooked, those could be important parallels to Pol’s current journey.
Why the Wonderland Game Feels “Safe” to Pol
We said that the portal world initially provides structure and control, but we could clarify that:
She gets into the game gradually — it’s not an instant obsession.
She doesn’t join the game out of excitement but rather because her family pushes her to engage socially.
Her twins’ involvement makes it feel “harmless” at first, which contrasts with its eventual grip on her.
Pol’s Mental State Before the Portal World Becomes Addictive
Before the game starts pulling her in, she’s in a state of:
Numb stress-scrolling and doom-researching solutions to her life problems.
Irritation at forced positivity, but no alternative coping mechanisms.
Avoidance of people who knew her before the accident, like the love interest and old friends.
The Watch’s History and Potential Rules (Still Unexplored)
The pocket watch locket is a key element, but we haven’t explored:
What happened when Uncle Alison had it?
Does it have any known “rules,” or does its magic work differently for each person?
What happens if it’s lost, broken, or given away?
The Twins’ Role Beyond the Game Introduction
The twins introduce Pol to the game, but do they:
Notice her obsession when it worsens?
Have their own struggles in the real world that contrast with Pol’s?
See the game as a fun sibling bonding thing while Pol is unknowingly sinking into escapism?
Next Steps
Would you like to explore one of these areas further, or do you still want to move straight into building the portal world itself?
That’s perfect.
Thank you. But, I think the next step in story development at this point should be to address the antagonist.
In my mind I see the game itself as the antagonist of our story, along with her own unfortunate real-life circumstances. What are your thoughts? Should we add a more overt antagonist?
I think the game as the antagonist is a strong and unique choice. It turns her escape mechanism into her greatest challenge, which aligns perfectly with the story’s themes.
Does This Story Need a More Overt Antagonist?
Reasons to Keep It as Is (Game + Circumstances as Antagonists):
✔ More Personal Conflict — If the game is the antagonist, then Pol is battling herself as much as the world around her.
✔ Less Predictable — No single villain figure means the story is about her choices rather than defeating someone.
✔ Emphasizes Themes — It strengthens the idea that even an “ideal” world requires effort and balance.
Reasons to Add a More Overt Antagonist:
⚠ Creates a Tangible Opposition — A person (or entity) could make the conflict more external and immediate.
⚠ Raises the Stakes — If someone is actively working against her, it could escalate tension faster.
⚠ Could Tie Into the Game’s History — What if someone else has controlled/manipulated the game before?
Possible Approaches If You Want a More Overt Antagonist:
The Game’s “Caretaker” NPC
The game has a built-in guide or ruler who pretends to help but actually steers Pol deeper in.
Could be a past player who never escaped.
A Rival Player
Another player trapped in the game who sees Pol as a threat or a pawn.
Could be Uncle Alison in the past (if he used the locket and got lost).
An AI or Code Within the Game
The game isn’t just pulling Pol in — it has a self-preserving function.
It adapts to her fears, actively making it harder for her to leave.
Final Question:
Do you like the idea of keeping the game itself as the antagonist, or do you want to explore adding one of these more overt conflict elements?
Hmm. I think I’d like to stick with the game itself as the antagonist. Let’s stick with that.
In my mind, the role of the bunny is more that of a caretaker/facilitator of the locket (not the game) and they adapt to the time and place in which the “target” is living and the spawn the wonderland portal appropriately.
In Pol’s case, it spawned on the handheld device, for Uncle Ali it spawned in a law school library, for Alice it spawned in the garden.
That’s a fantastic approach! It makes the locket a more neutral, mysterious force rather than something inherently good or bad — just something that finds those who “need it.”
Since the game itself is the antagonist, our next step might be to define:
How the game functions as a trap — What rules does it set? How does it gradually pull Pol in?
How it adapts to Pol specifically — What does it do to keep her engaged?
Its ultimate goal (if it has one) — Does it just sustain itself, or does it need something from its players?
Would you like to tackle these questions next, or would you rather flesh out something else first?
The game sets an incentive to play trap by giving her easy wins with big rewards. I.e. she collects five daisies and unlocks a whole 100 piece inventory to build a new island with at the beginning so she can progress through the next “task.”
Each day there are new tasks and if you complete all the daily tasks a new game biome is unlocked with new NPC’s that will have new daily challenges you can opt to participate in.
When she agrees to befriend the new bunny character in the game, she doesn’t accept his “task” for her yet because it freaks her out. But she is able to come and go from the world whenever she completes the daily tasks. The eventual irritating nature of the progressive grind feeling of the game’s overly orderly feel are what pushes her to finally accept the bunny’s biome tasks.
The problem is, the other times she accepted the tasks of the other biomes she could still leave the game if she finished the daily tasks of the game. When she accepts the bunny’s biome tasks the whole game shifts to looking like his biome, “wonderland.” And now she can’t leave until those tasks are done.
The problem that the bunny has forced her to face are tasks that require major character development. She must conquer, possibly: the twins (her siblings/resentment), the Cheshire Cat (her parents/dissonance), the Queen (her best friend/chaos), and the Jabberwocky(fear/uncertainty).
The normal daily tasks are simple. Build a house with three stories, solve two puzzles and place the rewards in the top floor, and then that unlocks the next biome or something. Each biome has a new mechanic that has clear rules for how it works and is interesting and fun to engage with, slightly challenging, but easy to master with the key feature of ensuring the player has already collected enough items or most of the items or completed the puzzles needed already to zoom through most of the levels as soon as they are unlocked so they feel “smarter than the game.” So it is more of a Hello Kitty Island Adventure situation than Animal Crossing, but also more Minecraft (Creative Mode) than either of those are in that she has more control over the building of the worlds and biomes.
It pulls Pol in because it makes her feel like she has control but in reality, she is just moving chess pieces, she isn’t changing any of the rules of the game or the outcome, which demand she complete her list of daily tasks to be able to move forward.
The ultimate goal of the game is to “encourage” the player to complete the daily tasks. If this isn’t happening, the game will “make it easier” to complete the tasks by providing more items to collect, more NPC’s to interact with, more puzzles to solve, and more combinations of tasks which would be accepted as the daily tasks being completed. This is great for the main game, although slight boring and eventually extremely overwhelming to someone with a tendency to want to complete ALL the tasks on the list.
This is hugely problematic once she is in the Wonderland biome. She does NOT want more of the items, more NPCs, more puzzles, or more tasks which creates urgency for her to face the challenges rather than try to avoid them and find a different way out.
This is a fantastic structure — the way the game escalates from rewarding to suffocating makes it the perfect antagonist.
Would you like to:
Refine the Wonderland biome’s aesthetic (What does it look and feel like? How does it shift over time?)
Develop how each of the “boss” figures challenges her? (What obstacles do they present, and how do they reflect her real-world struggles?)
I think a better next step is to outline the basic plot points.
Great call! Let’s break the plot down into key beats using a structured outline:
Act 1: Setup & Inciting Incident
Pol’s Life is Falling Apart
She’s recovering from her accident (leg cast, physical therapy).
Her best friend is in a coma, and her parents are going to pull the plug.
She lost her track scholarship and her career plans are ruined.
Her family is struggling financially, and she feels like a burden.
She’s isolated — avoiding friends, doom-scrolling, and angry at forced optimism.
Uncle Alison Gives Her the Pocket Watch Locket
He’s the only one who doesn’t try to “cheer her up.”
Says the locket finds those who need it.
Pol is skeptical but intrigued.
Pol’s Introduction to the Game
The neighbor love interest brings over their handheld console.
The twins get excited and convince Pol to play an online game with them.
She reluctantly joins and is surprised to enjoy it.
A new bunny NPC appears in the game, offering her a unique biome task.
She refuses it at first but keeps playing the game for its easy progression.
Act 2: Escalation & The Trap
The Game Becomes Addictive
Small wins feel good — the game rewards her constantly.
It gives her more control than real life, reinforcing her need for order & progress.
She’s spending more time in-game, avoiding reality.
She Accepts the Bunny’s Biome Task → Wonderland Takes Over
The game shifts, and she can no longer leave freely.
Wonderland absorbs the entire game world.
New challenges appear, forcing her to confront deeper struggles.
Wonderland Becomes an Inescapable Challenge
The Twins Challenge → Forces her to face her resentment toward her younger siblings.
The Cheshire Cat Challenge → Forces her to deal with her parents & the instability in their family.
The Queen Challenge → Forces her to confront her best friend’s accident & her own guilt.
The Jabberwocky Challenge → Represents fear & uncertainty about her future.
Act 3: Breaking Free & Resolution
Pol Tries to Cheat the System
She attempts to “game” her way out, but nothing works.
The game floods her with more tasks, more items, more distractions.
She realizes she can’t avoid her problems anymore.
She Faces the Final Challenge: The Jabberwocky
The Jabberwocky is a manifestation of her deepest fear — what if she never figures life out?
She must accept uncertainty & imperfection to defeat it.
Breaking the Game’s Hold
She stops following the game’s rules and rejects the concept of “winning.”
This shatters the illusion of control — and the game starts breaking apart.
She escapes the Wonderland biome and returns to the real world.
Resolution in Reality
She reconnects with her family and neighbor friend — realizing she’s not alone.
She accepts that there’s no perfect future plan, but she can still move forward.
The pocket watch locket remains with her, a reminder of what she learned.
Next Steps:
Would you like to refine specific beats (e.g., the Jabberwocky challenge), or focus on how the game’s mechanics escalate into horror?
What could it look like in a save the cat story structure?
Great idea! Let’s map your story using the Save the Cat! beats.
Save the Cat! Story Structure for Polly Olly Oxen Free
1. Opening Image (The “Before” Snapshot of Pol’s Life)
Pol is stuck in bed, injured and bitter.
Her best friend is in a coma, and her parents are struggling financially.
She isolates herself, doom-scrolls, and refuses to engage with old friends.
Her childhood optimism is dead — she doesn’t know how to deal with real grief and failure.
2. Theme Stated (What the Story is Really About)
Escapism doesn’t fix reality. True optimism isn’t avoiding pain but working through it.
Control is an illusion. You can’t game your way through life.
3. Setup (Introduce the World & Stakes)
Family tension: Her dad is strict again, her mom is distant, and her twins annoy her.
Social isolation: She avoids her neighbor friend and pushes away support.
Lost future: No scholarship, no running, no career path. She has no idea what to do.
4. Catalyst (The Life-Changing Event)
Uncle Alison arrives and gives her a pocket watch locket that’s been in the family.
She starts playing a cozy game after her love-interest neighbor and twins introduce her to it.
A new bunny NPC appears with a special biome quest — but she refuses it.
5. Debate (Should She Engage with the Game?)
She keeps playing because it makes her feel accomplished in a way real life doesn’t.
The game feeds her control addiction — tasks are clear, fair, winnable.
She finally accepts the bunny’s quest — and everything changes.
6. Break Into 2 (The Adventure Begins)
The game shifts to Wonderland mode.
She can’t leave. No more easy tasks — now, it’s all personal.
Wonderland forces her to face her real-life struggles.
7. B Story (The Emotional Journey)
The neighbor friend shows up in-game, reminding her she’s not alone.
She begins to see echoes of her real-world relationships in the game characters.
8. Fun & Games (The “Promise of the Premise”)
At first, she tries to treat Wonderland like the rest of the game.
She attempts to “play” her way out — but the rules keep shifting.
The Wonderland biome challenges her directly:
Twins challenge: Forces her to confront her resentment toward her siblings.
Cheshire Cat challenge: Forces her to acknowledge her parents’ struggles.
Queen challenge: Forces her to face her best friend’s accident & guilt.
She fights the system — but the game keeps escalating.
9. Midpoint (False Victory or False Defeat)
She believes she’s close to winning. She almost cracks the final puzzle.
But then, the game changes again — revealing the Jabberwocky biome.
The Jabberwocky represents her ultimate fear: What if she never figures out her life?
10. Bad Guys Close In (Things Get Worse)
The game floods her with more tasks, more NPCs, more puzzles.
She can’t find a way out. She tries to wake up, but nothing works.
She starts panicking. She finally admits: she doesn’t have control.
11. All Is Lost (The Worst Moment)
She realizes she can’t win.
The Jabberwocky is too strong — because it isn’t meant to be beaten.
The game overwhelms her, and she collapses.
12. Dark Night of the Soul (Breaking Point & Revelation)
She remembers her best friend’s optimism.
She realizes: “I was never supposed to beat the game. I was supposed to stop playing.”
She rejects the game’s rules.
13. Break Into 3 (The Solution)
She stops playing. She walks away from the tasks.
The game glitches, confused by her refusal to engage.
She finally faces the Jabberwocky — not as an opponent, but as part of herself.
14. Finale (The Resolution)
She escapes the game. The locket remains with her.
She reconnects with her family and friend — no longer pushing them away.
She accepts that she doesn’t need to have everything figured out.
She is finally free from the game — not because she won, but because she let go.
Next Steps
Would you like to:
Refine specific beats (e.g., Jabberwocky encounter)?
Flesh out the emotional beats more deeply?
Tighten pacing so the Wonderland trap escalates at the right speed?
I definitely like the potential that exists in that story structure better. Are there other ones we should explore and or incorporate? Harmon’s Story Circle? 7-Point? Carriger’s Heroine’s Journey? Fichtean?
Great! Let’s briefly outline how Polly Olly Oxen Free would fit into each of these alternative structures and see if any elements resonate for deeper incorporation.
1. Dan Harmon’s Story Circle
(A simplified version of the Hero’s Journey, emphasizing internal transformation.)
You (A Character in Comfort)
Pol is isolated, injured, and bitter. She refuses to engage with the world.
Need (They Want Something)
She wants control over something — her life, her future, her recovery.
Go (They Enter an Unfamiliar Situation)
She accepts the bunny’s biome task and is trapped in Wonderland.
Search (They Adapt to the Situation)
She tries to “play” her way out, believing she can outthink the game.
Find (They Get What They Wanted, but at a Cost)
She figures out how to beat the tasks, but the game floods her with more.
Take (The Ultimate Challenge & Realization)
She faces the Jabberwocky and realizes she can’t win the way she expected.
Return (They Go Back to Where They Started, Changed)
She stops playing, breaking the cycle.
Change (They Are Fundamentally Different)
She accepts uncertainty and imperfection — realizing true control isn’t about certainty.
✔ Best Takeaways from Story Circle:
This structure makes her internal transformation explicit — we could highlight the contrast between “control” at the start and “acceptance” at the end more clearly.
2. The 7-Point Story Structure
(Focused on plot reversals and progressive escalation.)
Hook (Introduce Protagonist in Their World)
Pol is injured, bitter, and avoiding life.
2. First Plot Turn (The Call to Adventure)
She gets the locket and starts playing the game.
3. First Pinch Point (Pressure from the Antagonist)
The game keeps rewarding her, making it harder to stop.
4. Midpoint (A Revelation or Shift in Perspective)
Accepting the bunny’s quest locks her in Wonderland.
5. Second Pinch Point (All Seems Hopeless)
The game floods her with more tasks, trapping her.
6. Second Plot Turn (The Final Push to Resolution)
She rejects the game’s structure, realizing she must stop playing.
7. Resolution (The End State of the Character Arc)
She escapes and reintegrates into real life, changed.
✔ Best Takeaways from 7-Point:
This structure reinforces the game’s progressive tightening of control. We could adjust pacing so each “pinch point” makes the game gradually more overwhelming.
3. Gail Carriger’s Heroine’s Journey [maiden arc]
(Focused on community, connection, and emotional healing.)
The Heroine Starts Alone, Often Resisting Help
Pol pushes everyone away, refusing emotional support.
The Heroine Gains Allies and Support
Uncle Alison and her neighbor friend try to reconnect with her.
The Heroine Falls into the Darkest Moment
Trapped in the Wonderland biome, completely alone.
She Realizes She Must Accept Help
She sees the love interest in the game — reminding her she’s not alone.
She Rebuilds Connections and Challenges the System
She rejects the game’s rules instead of trying to win.
She Succeeds Not by Overpowering, but by Connecting
She accepts imperfection and reconnects with people in the real world.
✔ Best Takeaways from Heroine’s Journey:
This emphasizes Pol’s relationships as a key part of her arc. If we incorporate this, the love interest and twins could play a bigger role in helping her find balance.
4. The Fichtean Curve
(A high-intensity structure with repeated rising action & crises.)
Inciting Incident:
Pol accepts the bunny’s quest.
Rising Action 1:
Wonderland traps her, escalates the challenges.
Crisis 1:
She starts drowning in tasks.
Rising Action 2:
The game adapts, making things worse.
Crisis 2:
The Jabberwocky appears, revealing her true fear.
Climax:
She stops playing, breaking the game’s grip.
✔ Best Takeaways from Fichtean Curve:
This structure maximizes tension by making every challenge progressively worse.
If we use this, we should make the game escalate faster after Pol enters Wonderland.
Final Takeaways & Possible Adjustments
✔ Best Ideas to Incorporate into the Save the Cat! Structure:
From Story Circle: Emphasize Pol’s internal growth from “control” to “acceptance.”
From 7-Point Structure: Ensure the game’s tightening grip is gradual and well-paced.
From Heroine’s Journey: Consider strengthening her relationships with her neighbor friend & twins.
From Fichtean Curve: Make each challenge escalate sharply so it feels increasingly overwhelming.
Next Steps:
Do any of these adjustments jump out as must-haves?
Would you like to map out a revised Save the Cat! version that incorporates these refinements?
Very nicely done. Can you give “Best Take-aways” for the 3-Act structure and Save the Cat as well so our readers can see them?
Absolutely! Here’s a quick-reference guide to how each structure contributes to Polly Olly Oxen Free, including Save the Cat! and the Three-Act Structure for full transparency.
Best Takeaways from Each Story Structure
1. Three-Act Structure (Classic Hollywood-style progression: Setup, Conflict, Resolution.)
✔ Best Takeaways:
Reinforces clear turning points — ensure the Wonderland trap acts as the true midpoint.
Strengthens Act 2’s rising tension, ensuring each obstacle pushes her deeper into the trap.
The third-act realization (rejecting the game’s rules) should be clear and impactful.
2. Save the Cat! (Focuses on “fun & games” in the second act before things fall apart.)
✔ Best Takeaways:
The early Wonderland section should feel “fun” before turning restrictive — this contrast will make the trap more devastating.
The Jabberwocky moment needs to be Pol’s emotional lowest point, forcing her to confront her core fear (failure & uncertainty).
The Finale should be about acceptance rather than winning — she succeeds not by overpowering the game but by rejecting its terms.
3. Dan Harmon’s Story Circle (Emphasizes internal transformation.)
✔ Best Takeaways:
Highlights Pol’s character arc from control → acceptance as the main emotional throughline.
Ensure each game challenge mirrors her real-world fears, making the internal stakes as important as the external ones.
The ending should feel like a return to normalcy, but she is fundamentally changed.
4. 7-Point Story Structure (Sharp turning points, focus on “pinches” that escalate conflict.)
✔ Best Takeaways:
Ensure the game’s tightening control is gradual — each “pinch point” should be a major step toward being trapped.
The Wonderland biome should feel like a false victory at first, before shifting into an overwhelming challenge.
Pol should only break free when she realizes she doesn’t have to play the game at all.
5. Gail Carriger’s Heroine’s Journey (Focused on connection & emotional healing.)
✔ Best Takeaways:
Her relationships (family, love interest, Uncle Alison) should be key to her healing.
The love interest & twins should show her that connection isn’t lost forever.
The final realization should be about choosing to reconnect with the world.
6. The Fichtean Curve (High-intensity, repeated rising action & crises.)
✔ Best Takeaways:
The game’s demands should escalate aggressively — each challenge more overwhelming than the last.
Ensure each “level” or “biome” ramps up the stress, increasing the urgency for her to escape.
The Jabberwocky should feel like a final, crushing blow — the moment she finally admits, “I can’t do this.”
Final Thought for Readers:
Each structure highlights different strengths of storytelling. By blending these takeaways, we create a stronger, richer narrative with:
✔ A compelling character arc (Story Circle, Heroine’s Journey).
✔ A clear escalation of conflict (7-Point, Fichtean Curve).
✔ A memorable thematic resolution (Save the Cat!, Three-Act).
Would you like to revise Save the Cat! one more time with these refinements in mind, or do you feel good about where we are?
Are there any structures we missed? Pixar? 24-chapter? Which ones did I not remember…
You remembered most of the major ones! Here are a few additional structures we could explore if you’d like to compare:
1. Pixar’s Story Spine (Great for emotional depth and tight pacing.)
Formula:
Once upon a time… → Every day… → Until one day… → Because of that… (x3–5 times) → Until finally… → Ever since then…
✔ What This Would Add:
Ensures a strong cause-and-effect chain (each event happens because of the last).
Helps tighten pacing by cutting filler moments.
Would make the Wonderland escalation feel inevitable rather than episodic.
2. The 24-Chapter Structure (Popular for novels, splits arcs evenly across chapters.)
Breaks the novel into:
6 chapters per act (4 acts total).
Key turning points every 6 chapters.
✔ What This Would Add:
Helps with chapter pacing & structure — ideal if you want consistent beats.
Would make sure each section escalates properly.
Helps plan chapter endings so they feel compelling.
3. The Monomyth (Hero’s Journey, Expanded) (The original 17-step version.)
We used Harmon’s Story Circle (a simplified version), but the full Hero’s Journey includes:
Supernatural Aid: Could further explore what the locket does.
The Road of Trials: Could make each biome feel like a “level up” in difficulty.
The Refusal of the Return: Could add a moment where she doesn’t want to leave Wonderland.
✔ What This Would Add:
Would deepen the mythology of the locket & game.
Could help flesh out the final act, making her return feel more earned.
4. The Kishōtenketsu Structure (Eastern storytelling method, no external villain.)
Ki (Introduction): Sets up Pol’s real-life struggles.
Shō (Development): She gets deeper into the game.
Ten (Twist): The game locks her in Wonderland.
Ketsu (Conclusion): She resolves her internal struggles & escapes.
✔ What This Would Add:
Emphasizes internal transformation over external conflict.
Would make the Wonderland twist feel even more jarring.
Could highlight how she keeps thinking she’s in control — until she isn’t.
5. Three Disaster Structure (Used by Brandon Sanderson, keeps tension rising.)
1st Disaster: Game becomes addictive, but still escapable.
2nd Disaster: Game locks her in Wonderland.
3rd Disaster: The Jabberwocky appears, crushing her hope.
✔ What This Would Add:
Ensures three big gut-punch moments, increasing emotional stakes.
Helps balance the pacing, so each “disaster” hits at the right time.
Final Question:
Do any of these stand out as worth incorporating? Or do you feel we’ve covered enough structure work?
[NOTE TO READER: The app gave me two options for the above response to “help improve the app experience.” I chose the one you just read seeing because it was closer to my request of simply listing the other structures that I may have missed rather than listing them and then excessively elaborating on how they could apply to the story we’ve made so far. Particularly since Chat in that response had taken some leaps and bounds in the “how it could apply” area that included making a bunch of stuff up that we hadn’t even touched on yet. Although Chat has done that a bit with the structures they’ve presented here so far, and in what they are about to present, they haven’t done it so much that it can’t easily be ignored or changed when I go to actually write the scenes, and it fits mostly with the vision I am starting to develop in my head for the story. I hope that makes sense.]
Let’s add three disaster and 24-chapter into the mix and see what Frankenstein’s monster of a story structure we’ve come up with 😂
Alright, let’s create the ultimate hybrid story structure using Save the Cat!, Three Disaster Structure, 24-Chapter Pacing, and key takeaways from everything we’ve covered!
Polly Olly Oxen Free — The Ultimate Story Structure
ACT 1: The Setup (Chapters 1–6)
✔ Disaster #1: The Real World is Failing Her
Opening Image: Pol is injured, isolated, and bitter.
Theme Stated: Escaping reality doesn’t fix it. True control means accepting uncertainty.
Set-Up:
She pushes away her family & former friends.
Her best friend is in a coma, parents want to pull the plug.
She lost her scholarship & career plans are dead.
She’s stuck in bed, doom-scrolling & feeling powerless.
Catalyst: Uncle Alison gives her the pocket watch locket.
Debate:
Her neighbor love interest brings over their console.
Twins convince her to play online.
She reluctantly joins and finds the game weirdly comforting.
A bunny NPC offers her a task — she refuses.
ACT 2A: The Fun & Games Begin (Chapters 7–12)
✔ Disaster #2: The Game Becomes Addictive
Break Into 2: She starts playing daily and finds the game gives her constant wins.
B Story: Neighbor friend reconnects with her.
Fun & Games:
She gets lost in the game’s structure, enjoying progression & rewards.
The game “knows” her preferences, offering tasks that make her feel in control.
She avoids real-world problems, spending more time in-game.
Midpoint (False Victory):
She finally accepts the bunny’s biome task.
Wonderland absorbs the entire game world.
The rules change — she can’t leave anymore.
ACT 2B: The Trap Tightens (Chapters 13–18)
✔ Disaster #3: Wonderland is a Prison
Bad Guys Close In:
She tries to play her way out — but the game floods her with more tasks.
The game mechanics shift, forcing her to confront her own issues.
Wonderland starts feeling suffocating instead of fun.
Wonderland Boss Challenges:
The Twins Challenge → Resentment toward her siblings.
The Cheshire Cat → Her fractured relationship with her parents.
The Queen → The trauma of her best friend’s accident.
Break Into 3 (The Final Test Begins):
She realizes she can’t game the system.
The Jabberwocky appears, embodying her ultimate fear:
What if she never figures life out?
ACT 3: Escape & Resolution (Chapters 19–24)
✔ The Final Disaster: The Jabberwocky Breaks Her
All Is Lost: She realizes she cannot win.
Dark Night of the Soul: She stops trying.
Break Into 3: She rejects the game entirely.
Climax:
The game glitches — she has broken its hold.
The Jabberwocky vanishes — not defeated, but acknowledged.
She escapes back into the real world.
Finale:
She reconnects with her family & neighbor friend.
She accepts that life has no “win state.”
The locket remains with her, a reminder.
She is finally free — not because she won, but because she let go.
What We’ve Created: The “Frankenstein’s Monster” of Structures
🔥 What We Pulled from Each Structure:
✔ Save the Cat! → Strong turning points & “fun before the fall” in Wonderland.
✔ Three Disaster Structure → Clear rising stakes with three major disasters.
✔ 24-Chapter Structure → A balanced 6-chapter-per-act pacing guide.
✔ Story Circle → Pol’s arc from control → acceptance.
✔ 7-Point → Ensures tightening of the game’s control over time.
✔ Heroine’s Journey → Relationships help her escape, not brute force.
✔ Fichtean Curve → Relentless tension escalation in Wonderland.
Final Thoughts
This structure gives us clear pacing, high emotional stakes, and a strong thematic core. Would you like to tweak anything before locking this in as the official blueprint? 🚀
Sweet. I’m on board. Now for the last big decision of our “story structure discussion” let’s make a call on POV.
Great! Let’s break down the pros and cons of different POV options for Polly Olly Oxen Free based on its themes, structure, and emotional core.
1. First-Person (Present or Past Tense)
✔ Pros:
Deepest emotional connection — we experience the game’s descent with Pol.
Works well for trapping the reader in Wonderland alongside her.
Strong internal monologue supports her transformation arc.
⚠ Cons:
Can be limiting — only Pol’s perspective is visible.
May make certain game mechanics harder to explain smoothly.
🔥 Best Use Case:
If we want immersive, in-the-moment tension, First-Person Present could be great for escalating the horror of Wonderland.
First-Person Past would give a little more flexibility while still feeling personal.
2. Third-Person Limited (Close to Pol’s POV, but Slightly More Flexible)
✔ Pros:
Still deeply personal, but allows for slightly more distance from her emotions when needed.
Easier to explain game mechanics & Wonderland’s shifts without everything being filtered through Pol’s limited understanding.
Lets us hint at things Pol doesn’t immediately notice, which could help with foreshadowing.
⚠ Cons:
Less intimacy than first-person.
Readers won’t be fully inside Pol’s head, which could make her character arc feel less raw.
🔥 Best Use Case:
If we want a balance between emotional depth & clarity, this could work especially well for explaining Wonderland’s mechanics.
3. Third-Person Omniscient (All-Knowing Narrator, Multiple POVs Possible)
✔ Pros:
Could provide extra insight into the game’s mechanics & external forces Pol isn’t aware of.
Allows subtle foreshadowing & dramatic irony (i.e., the reader could know things Pol doesn’t).
⚠ Cons:
Less personal & immediate — could make Pol’s emotional journey feel more detached.
Risks dampening tension if we see too much beyond Pol’s limited perspective.
🔥 Best Use Case:
If we wanted a bigger, more epic scope, but this story is so deeply about Pol’s experience, this may be too distant.
Final Considerations:
If we want maximum emotional depth & immersion: → First-Person Present or Past
If we want a balance of intimacy & clarity: → Third-Person Limited
If we want a broader scope & foreshadowing options: → Third-Person Omniscient
Final POV Question:
Which option best fits the tone, tension, and emotional depth we want for this story? Do you have a gut instinct, or do you want to explore sample passages in different POVs?
My gut says first person but I’ve been debating about present or past. I lean toward past. Also had the idea of her writing the story in letters to her friend who’s in a coma. But I’m not so sure that fits anymore. I think first person past.
First-Person Past Tense is a solid choice! It allows for deep emotional connection while giving flexibility in storytelling, especially for reflection on Pol’s experiences.
Would you like to test out a sample passage in this POV, or do you feel confident locking it in and moving forward?
Nah. I don’t want to skew my initial writing of Pol’s voice. But I appreciate the offer, Chat. 😊
Let’s see. Is this a good stopping point for Episode 3?
That sounds like a great stopping point! Episode 3 gave us a fully fleshed-out story structure, antagonist mechanics, and POV choice.
Next episode, we can dive into:
✔ Refining the portal world’s aesthetic & atmosphere.
✔ Defining the Wonderland biome’s visual & thematic contrasts.
✔ Expanding the emotional beats for Pol’s arc inside the game.
Looking forward to Episode 4! 🚀
NOTE TO READER:
Despite Chat’s insistence that I refine the portal world’s aesthetic and atmosphere, describe the biomes, etc. I find that I write that stuff best when I am “pantsing” it, not “plotting” it. For the next episode you can expect to see us discuss:
Pol’s emotional beats inside the game
The opening and hook
The main scenes needed to fill out the story structure given the world and characters we have so far.
I’d love to hear suggestions from the few of you who are reading in real time! Please comment below and help us craft Pol’s journey! :)
I'm completely over-whelmed by all the various story structures. I'm still trying to come up with one favorite to use as a standard for my stories. I confess, it tends to be a kind of beast for me as well... and that's just for short stories. This is the step that has ended most of my attempts to get from short story to novel.
"And I will use all of them!" --- I love that picture. (Scrolling back up to read the rest now...)