A Poet Soul Fall

Words fall from a poetic soul to their past, without the context of where they were bourn.

A NEW KIND OF EMPTY

RAW STINGS OF NOSTALGIA TEAR AT MY HEART. EMPTINESS SCREAMING FROM THE GROOVES AND GAPS IT RAKES.

THE KIND YOU FEEL BEFORE YOU CAN CONJURE ITS NAME.

BEFORE YOUR HEART ALLOWS YOU TO WITNESS THAT IS GONE IS SO MUCH LARGER THAN WHAT WAS RAKED OUT.

LARGER THAN YOU EVER LET YOURSELF SEE WHILE IT WAS THERE.

I MISS SOMEONE WHO ISN’T GONE.

I HAVE THE NOW THEM, BUT I ACHE FOR THE THEM THAT WAS “BACK THEN.”

I ACHE TO SEE THAT REALITY WHICH HAD SEEMED SO DISTANT FROM ME AT THE TIME.

TO LOOK TO THAT SPACE IN MY HEART AND SEE ITS FULL FORM BRIGHT AND ALIVE.

BUT RESURRECTION IS NOT WHAT THIS WORLD ALLOWS WHEN NOSTALGIA DOES SO WITH REGRET.

WE WERE ONE PATH, MY BOYS AND I. PASSIVE AS TIME RAN ALONG OUR SPINES AND BROKE OUR SOLIDARITY INTO THREE.

ONE FOR EACH OF US, WE WALKED UNKNOWING, UNTIL AT ONCE A GLARING LACK OF PATH APPEARED BELOW OUR FEET.

EACH OF OUR PATHS WERE HEADED IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION. NOT ONE COULD CARRY US ALL.

WE EACH TOOK TO OUR PATHS WITH HESITATION, MY YOUNGEST MORE SO THAN HIS BROTHER. BUT AS BOTH BOYS’ INCHED AWAY MORE FROM ME, THEY INCHED CLOSER TO EACH OTHER.

TODAY MY YOUNGEST STANDS ON THE HORIZON, WATCHING MY FIRST VEERING STEEPLY AWAY. HE DOES IT AWAY FROM THE BOTH OF US, BUT I KNOW FOR HIM IT WONT BE THE SAME.

I RUSH OFF MY PATH CROSS THE GREAT FIELD BUT PAUSE AS I WATCH MY YOUNGEST TURN. HE SHIFTS WITH A SMILE AND LOOKS AHEAD, AND SWIFTLY VEERS OFF TO DO THE SAME.

THE GAPS IN THE GROOVES ETCH DEEPER, MY HEART FEELS A HOLLOWING OUT. MY BOYS ARE GROWING AND WHAT FELT LIKE MY EVERYTHING, IS RELEASING

BIT BY BIT.

I AM DISSOLVING FROM WE

BACK TO ME.

AND NOTHING FEELS RIGHT ABOUT IT.

CAYSE M SHULTZ