A quick bit of housekeeping before we dive in:
A Sanity Saving Article Guide: The Formatting
Hello Readers! Things are going to get more complicated now that we are adding actual drafts into the mix, so here’s the breakdown of our article formatting moving forward:
**This Note is outdated. It applied to the article when it was posted to Medium. I am working on a replacement now, but didn’t want to leave you all hanging without this episode!**
Paragraphs in Quotes = me, aka Cayse, talking directly to Chat
Paragraphs in Plain Text = Chat, aka ChatGPT 4.o, responding to me
Paragraphs in Quotes but NOT ITALICIZED = Draft writing for Polly Olly Oxen Free, that is written by me** on Scrivener and/or word depending on the day and then pasted into ChatGPT and sent to Chat
Paragraphs in Big Quotes = me, aka Cayse, writing directly to YOU, the reader after the chat session and during the transfer of the convo to Medium. Chat is not privy to these notes.
** As a reminder, the purpose of this series is to explore how ChatGPT and LLM like it can be used to assist neurodivergent individuals in creative endeavors. By this I mean that the writing of Polly Olly Oxen Free will be MY writing, and I will be showing you how I will be experimenting with how I can be assisted by Chat’s ability to be a writing coach and executive function assistant(i.e. research partner, memory tracker, thought organizer, and task list maker) to see if I can do so without it interfering with the story I am trying to tell or giving me poor advice.
Episode 5 has arrived.
Time to start writing. And what do we do when we are a writer with an impulsive tendency toward excessive description?
We set limitations.
Chat! I need you! Quickly! How many words am I allowed to use for my first chapter of the book?!
Let’s set a hard limit to keep you focused!
For a YA portal fantasy opening chapter, a strong, engaging first chapter typically falls between 1,500 — 2,500 words — but since you have a tendency toward excessive description, let’s push for a tight, compelling 1,200-word limit.
Challenge:
⚡ 1,200 words MAX.
⚡ Lean, purposeful descriptions only.
⚡ Every word must earn its place.
Do you accept this mission, or do you want to tweak the limit? 🚀
Ugh. Fine. You big meanie.
(But seriously, good call)
I accept the mission 🫡
Excellent! Now, before you start drafting, do you want to:
1️⃣ Pick your opening line from the three you brainstormed?
2️⃣ Do a quick scene outline to keep the chapter structured?
3️⃣ Just dive in and see where the words take you?
Your call, Captain! 🫡
Very good suggestion.
1. Yes. I pick the third one.
2. Yes, brief and bare bones though because…
3. …I prefer this.
Bare-Bones Scene Outline — Chapter 1
✔ Opening Hook:
• Chaotic household noise → Pol’s inner frustration simmering beneath sarcasm.
• She clings to one goal — walk again today.
✔ PT Session — Rising Tension:
• She tries. She fails. She overdoes it.
• Pain. Frustration. Another setback.
• PT’s optimism grates on her nerves.
✔ Emotional Fallout:
• She isn’t just in pain — she’s furious at herself, her body, the world.
• Internal spiral begins — what if she never gets better?
✔ Closing Beat (Foreshadowing the Game):
• She escapes into her phone, doom-scrolling.
• A notification pings — something about a game.
This keeps things tight, emotionally impactful, and sets up the portal world.
Now, dive in and draft! 🚀
No notification. Scene ends with her besties parents showing up for an unannounced visit. I think… not sure yet.
Ooooh! Epiphany. She is prepping for her PT session that she has later today. She thinks she’ll be able to surprise her PT by being able to do more than she was told to do. But her exercises are particularly painful this morning. But, she pushes through because her parents talking about money freaks her out and if she can get back to walking faster maybe she won’t lose her scholarship, thinking of being here another year with the bickering twins is nauseating, and not being able to visit her best friend’s hospital bed is torture.
Her friend’s parents show up before the appointment and discuss pulling the plug. The chapter ends with her in agony after trying to walk to her therapist as soon as she arrives. The pain blacks her out.
Maybe?
That’s a powerful sequence — it layers tension, emotional stakes, and physical struggle all at once. Ending with blackout-level pain is a strong hook for Chapter 2.
Do you feel ready to start drafting, or is there anything you’d like to tweak first?
[writer is writing]
Mid-writing question: did Pollyanna or Alice have a pet?
Great mid-writing question!
• Pollyanna: No official pet in Pollyanna, but she was very attached to animals in general and befriended a dog named Buffalo Bill and a cat named Fluffy in later books.
• Alice (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland):
• She had a cat named Dinah, who is mentioned several times but never appears in Wonderland.
• In Through the Looking-Glass, Dinah’s kittens, Snowdrop and Kitty, are also mentioned.
Would you like Pol to have a pet, or are you considering using this detail for something else?
Hi Readers! Cayse, here. I am excluding a long and EXCRUCIATINGLY fruitless discussion that I had with chat about various pet options and why they would and wouldn’t work for Pol and her story. Nothing good came from this back and forth. My last response referring to it was the following before I switched topics:
Hmm. Maybe I need to rethink the pet idea. Maybe it is her observing something natural from a distance.
If anyone has any interest in this section I can include it as a bonus article or something, but honestly you aren’t missing anything. I am considering going back to the earlier articles and axing a few of the more boring sections of Chat’s responses in a similar fashion just for ya’lls sake.
Anyhow.
Moving on.
Mid-writing question: did we give Pol a last name?
Nope, we haven’t given Pol a last name yet! Do you want it to:
1. Have Meaning? (Something that subtly reinforces her themes — like “Warren” for rabbits/Wonderland ties, or “Bridges” for structure/change.)
2. Be Common & Grounded? (Something that makes her feel like a real person — like “Henderson” or “Carver.”)
3. Be Unique or Slightly Quirky? (Something that stands out a little — like “Larkspur” or “Everly.”)
Do you have a vibe in mind, or do you want me to throw out some options?
Nah, I’ll figure something out.
Sounds good! If you ever want to brainstorm options, I’m here. Keep writing! 🚀
Okay! So I was trying to figure out the best way to show the readers what a writing process could look like “live” and I figured I’d show it in “stages.”
This is what I would call a very very rough blob of a draft. It started as a free flow from my original “first sentences” and then when I got to a part I liked, I cut and pasted the section I had written above it down at the bottom and italicized it for later use or reference. I then continued writing as if that portion I cut never existed.
Eventually I got to a point in my writing where my thoughts started to out pace my fingers. When this happens to me, what I do is “outline” paragraphs or beats in brackets: [ ] and then just write the bare bones brainstorm ideas into it. from there I can either jump right back into writing dialogue or more scenes like I was doing before or I can continue writing outlines in brackets as I did in this case.
Hopefully this gives our audience a good idea of where the first draft of the first chapter is going.
Note, I didn’t include anything with the parents of the best friend, nor did I include some of the other “goal” items from what we had discussed. I will go back and make adjustments in my second go round.
This is my first “rough” sit down. Think of it as just getting the ball rolling. Does that make sense? Here it is:
That absolutely makes sense, and it’s a fantastic way to show readers a “live” writing process in a way that’s both structured and raw. Breaking it into stages like this will give people a clear, honest look at how a draft evolves — from free-flowing thoughts → cutting/pasting for later → outlining future beats in brackets → continuing the draft.
This is a realistic, valuable process to share because it shows:
✔ Writing isn’t linear — sometimes you move pieces around.
✔ Not everything stays in the draft — but keeping it for later is smart.
✔ Brackets & outlines keep the momentum going when typing can’t keep up with thinking.
Now, drop that rough blob of a draft in here, and let’s take a look! 🚀
Okay readers, please keep in mind that this is a SUPER ROUGH DRAFT. Like brainstorm level rough. Don’t be all “this is shite”, okay?
Got it?
Good.
You may proceed.
Goal: Description of injury, room, her, and tonight’s stakes.
“I’m walking today.” I announce to the trail of ants that have been colonizing my windowsill since last week.
They ignore me, with a familiar pointed indifference.
“Fine. But, ya’ll won’t like what comes after that.” I shoot a glower at the shriveled apple core dangling inches above the trash can — how it has managed to cling to the ridge of the latex painted windowsill for eight whole days is beyond logic.
“Consider yourselves warned.” I say, reaching up for my assist bars with a grunt.
A few grunts and grumbles later and I am sitting up against my headboard. But that is merely the end of step one in my new infuriating morning routine. Next, is the long and pathetic task of un-baby-proofing myself from my nest of bolsters. By all accounts it looks as if I wake up in the middle of a gymnastics foam pit every morning — and getting out of it is very much akin to the real thing.
When I had pointed out to my physical therapist that being in a full body cast should be enough to keep me from falling out of bed in and of itself, she sighed and tried to explain that the extra padding wasn’t just to keep me from falling out of bed; it was to help me not be in agony all night.
After nearly two weeks of the worst sleep of my life, I have officially decided she doesn’t know what the hell she is talking about. Therefore, her so called “considered opinion” yesterday that I wouldn’t be able to recover in time for my first season at Pacific Crest University on an Athletic Scholarship for Track and Field was complete bullshit. She’d known me for all of ten days and gave horrible advice. I would be walking by the end of the goddamned day whether she liked it or not.
First out from the bolster-nest is the foam-pyramid from under my right-leg, then the small cylinder behind my back, then the larger ramp-wedge behind my torso, then the smaller doorstoppy ones that should have been under my elbows but always end all up in my shirt sleeves, then the massive side rolls, and last but not least my embarrassing to describe — but oh so necessary — butt donut. She — yes, my butt donut is a she — is the only bolster that seems to do anything. And if you are ever so unlucky to shatter your tail bone, sweet lil’ BD will be your best friend, too.
A small bubble of defiant glee always rushes my heart I sweep the bolsters over the left side of my bed and kick my blankets off and under my hammock raised left leg. BD, my leg hammock, and my cervical pillow are the only things that don’t get chucked to the floor every morning; all so I can revel in the freedom of a non-suffocating bed for a few seconds before whichever family “Pol Checker” comes in and puts them all back.
The foam blobs bounce and bobble in a fight for space as they settle between my dresser and desk, and skid around the foot of my bed to land against the wood paneled walls that hug everything too close together. As the avalanche of foam stills, the first screams of the day echo from down the hall.
As per usual, it’s the twins.
[twins burst in demanding answers for why mom and dad are arguing about her medical bills and what it means about her going to college or not if the pt says she can’t do her first season want to know if they get to split rooms or not]
[this is the first Pol has heard about the medical bills. She brings it up to her parents. Apparently the insurance company is pushing back saying that they have paid the maximum they are willing to cover because the truck driver didn’t have the appropriate accident insurance and he was an undocumented immigrant, and the store owner is claiming to not have hired the driver and had told him to leave and stop asking for work, Pol knows other wise but would have to prove it, and they can either sue the worker which will likely not go anywhere, sue the store owner without any evidence, or sue her best friend’s insurance company for more money, or hope that the college doesn’t retract the scholarship and she can qualify for some physical therapy assistance through the school]
[Physical Therapist shows up and Dad rushes twins out to get ready for school mom tries to fix bolsters and calm Pol, Physical Therapist comes up to room and is excessively cheerful. As she transitions Pol into the separated casts, she says she found an amazing article this morning about a breakthrough technology that just happened at MIT with AI and architecture that she thought Pol would like since she was going into architecture. She sent it to her phone. Pol starts panicking and pulls it up on her phone and sure enough it is what she feared, her career is fucking dead. She loses it on the PT, the Mom runs up and comes in, pulls the PT from the room and tells Pol to calm down. Pol can hear them talking in the hall. Mom apologizes but starts to explain what that means and Pol hears the PT start to apologize and feel horrible and start crying, this makes Pol feel HORRIBLE. She feels like she is going to throw up but doesn’t want to call for anyone. She looks at the trash can. It’s now next to her bed, apple inside. She doesn’t know who did it or when. She reaches for the can, pulls the apple out. The ants are wandering all over the place on the windowsill. Still holding the can, and the apple, she stands up, her muscles are shaking, she knows this though, she knows the body, she knows how things should work, she is walking slowly, her muscles are doing shockingly well, she is able to use the support from the braces, it hurts, but not as bad as she thought, it makes her want to puke, but that’s all, it’s not like double over black out pain like the car accident. But then the door opens and she stupidly turns her head despite being inches away from placing the apple back on the windowsill. She crumples to the ground.]
***Below is the cut/moved section I had actually started my writing with. It isn’t italicizing in the chat box so I’m marking it with this***
The twins were screaming down the hall over who got my room, my parents were bickering downstairs over my latest declined medical claim, and AI had just pummeled my future career into oblivion overnight. But all of that was fine. Perfectly, f#%ing fine. Because today I was going to walk.
Whether my physical therapist liked it or not, I, Pollyanna Rose Monroe, would get out of this damned bed, walk to the window by my self, and back to my bed by my self — one whole month ahead of schedule.
Not because I’m ready. Not even out of spite, though I have plenty of it lately. I’m doing this because if I’m lucky, the medical-miracle-ness of it all will gain enough local press coverage to keep the university from rescinding my scholarship. [need to look up details on this — how would this work? which schools would do this? For which sports?] That would keep me from having to disappoint the twins, help Mom and Dad with my rehab costs — not to mention keep my tuition covered while doing so — , and give me a whole four years to figure out how to make said miracle into a goddamned career since apparently becoming an architect isn’t as AI-proof as those career counselor dickheads promised.
I am fully aware how dumb that sounds coming from the Varsity Captain of the Track Team who also happens to be the Gold Medalist in the 800 and 1600 for the last three state championships, and the recent recipient of the full-ride Pacific Crest University Athletic Scholarship.
The thing is, shit happened and now if I want to keep that last title I am going to need a miracle. And for better or worse walking to that damn window is apparently going to have to be it.
***And that’s all I have written right now.***
This is phenomenal, and such a strong insight into your raw drafting process! It’s layered, voicey, and full of personality already, which makes it compelling even in its rough state.
What’s Working Exceptionally Well Right Now:
✔ Pol’s voice is immediate, sarcastic, and cutting in the best way. The tone is strong, and she already feels distinct.
✔ The physical struggle is visceral. The details of the bolsters, the pain, the exhaustion make this moment feel grounded and real.
✔ The ants, apple, and windowsill are brilliant grounding details. They add texture to the scene and subtly reinforce her lack of control.
✔ The stakes keep stacking. First, her body. Then the medical bills. Then AI ruining her career. Then her best friend’s parents coming. Each one lands like a punch.
Potential Next-Stage Refinements (For Draft 2 or Later):
🔹 The transition into the twin fight could be slightly sharper. Right now, it’s strong but could pop more — maybe a clearer snap from her personal struggle to their interruption.
🔹 The scholarship “miracle” logic could be tightened. You flagged it for research, but Pol might rationalize her hope a bit more clearly. Maybe a recent news story about an athlete recovering faster than expected gave her this idea?
🔹 Final collapse moment is gold — just make sure it’s clear where she loses control. Right now, the moment of physical failure is great, but the slight turn of the head being the final tipping point could be exaggerated more (ex: “I turned my head. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” → then crumple).
Your Next Move?
• Do you want to tweak anything right now, or do you want to roll straight into Draft 2 with this base? 🚀
Hello Readers! Cayse here again, at this point I needed a break to reconsider this project and this whole concept in general of sharing my writing process with you all. Basically, this is when I started chickening out again. To jumpstart my own re-engagement in the project, I jumped back into the conversation with chat in this way, rather than with an answer to the question:
Based on what you’ve heard about Pol so far, generate a portrait image of her that could be used in a school profile system photo
Here’s Pol’s school profile photo — a determined but slightly sarcastic expression, athletic build, and a hint of her former outdoor lifestyle before the accident. Let me know if you want any tweaks!
That looks about right. Now do Uncle Alison.
I wasn’t able to generate an image for Uncle Alison due to content policy restrictions. If you’d like, you can adjust the description or request a more general interpretation, and I can try again! Let me know how you’d like to proceed.
Oh. Just a general interpretation please.
Here’s a general interpretation of Uncle Alison — theatrical, eccentric, and exuding that enigmatic charm. Let me know if you’d like any adjustments!
oooh, good.
Awesome! I love how he turned out — definitely has that charismatic, mysterious energy we talked about. If you ever want more visual references for other characters, just let me know! 🎭✨
Having licked my wounds, fallen back in love with the story concept, and accepted my discomfort over showing you all my ugly drafts, I re-engaged with Chat. They were ever so much the pinnacle of “understanding writing coach.”
Sorry for the delay and diversion. I needed a bit of time to process.
No worries at all! Processing time is important, especially when you’re crafting something this personal and layered. If you’re feeling ready to jump back in, I’m here. If you need to ease back in with something light — like brainstorming, refining details, or just chatting about the process — that works too. Whatever pace feels right for you! 😊
Alright. Break it down for me. What did I miss in my draft that I had intended to include previously in the first chapter?
You nailed a lot of key beats, but there are a few elements from our earlier planning that didn’t make it in yet or could be expanded for a stronger first chapter. Here’s a breakdown:
What You Included Successfully:
✔ Pol’s injury, daily struggle, and determination to walk today.
✔ Her physical therapy setup (bolsters, braces, pain, frustration).
✔ Chaotic home environment (twins arguing, parents fighting over medical bills).
✔ Hints of financial strain & scholarship stakes.
✔ Her anger and sarcasm keeping her afloat.
✔ Strong sense of physicality and setting (the ants, apple, window, bedroom details).
✔ Her final attempt to stand + collapse moment.
What Was Missing or Needs More Integration:
🔹 1. The Best Friend’s Parents Showing Up
You originally planned for her best friend’s parents to visit unannounced to discuss pulling the plug.
This is a huge emotional gut punch — Pol’s reaction to hearing that decision could deepen her conflict.
Since this is a big moment, it might work better as the final emotional hit in the chapter, with her collapse coming right after.
🔹 2. The Specifics of the Medical Bills Situation
The draft mentions financial strain, but the details of the insurance company denying claims, the truck driver being undocumented, and the store owner denying involvement were missing.
Those specifics add realism and a sense of systemic unfairness, reinforcing Pol’s anger at the world being rigged.
Could be woven into a conversation with the twins or parents.
🔹 3. The AI Breakthrough Destroying Her Career
The PT doesn’t mention AI killing her career yet.
In the plan, the PT was supposed to excitedly show her the article about AI taking over architecture, completely unaware that this destroys Pol’s dreams.
This moment could trigger Pol’s outburst, leading to her mom pulling the PT aside.
🔹 4. The Emotional Impact of the Scholarship Being in Jeopardy
The draft mentions it briefly but doesn’t quite hammer home how much of her identity was tied to being an athlete and how losing it will redefine her entire future.
She’s fixated on proving the PT wrong — but we could see more internal dialogue about what losing track & college actually means to her.
🔹 5. More Explicit Setup for the Game Connection (Subtly)
Right now, the game isn’t hinted at in any way yet.
It doesn’t need to be obvious, but something like:
The twins playing a game in the background while she’s spiraling.
Her thinking about how much easier life would be if tasks were gamified.
A lingering shot of Uncle Alison’s gift (the locket/watch) in her room.
How You Could Integrate These Missing Pieces:
1️⃣ Move the Best Friend’s Parents Scene to the End:
They show up just as she’s already emotionally wrecked from the AI news.
They drop the bombshell about pulling the plug.
She tries to get up (to tell them off? To run? To do something other than sit there powerless?) → She collapses.
2️⃣ Weave in the Medical Bill & Scholarship Stress Earlier:
Maybe the twins barge in first, asking if she’s not going to college anymore.
This forces Pol to confront what’s happening before she even gets to the PT session.
3️⃣ Give the PT Scene Its Full Emotional Weight:
PT happily tells her about the AI breakthrough.
Pol realizes her dream job is gone on top of everything else.
Blows up. PT feels awful, Mom intervenes.
4️⃣ Sprinkle in a Game-Adjacent Detail for Later Setup:
Maybe the twins invite her to play a game, and she dismisses it as a waste of time.
Maybe her phone buzzes with a notification, but she ignores it.
Maybe she notices Uncle Alison’s locket sitting nearby but doesn’t touch it.
Your Call:
Would you rather revise what’s written now and add these missing beats, or press forward into Chapter 2 and layer them in later? 🚀
Good lord that is helpful. That would have taken my brain forever. Thank you, Chat. Alright. I better get on that now so I don’t lose my train of thought. I’ll be back with round two of the rough draft.
You got this! 🚀 I’ll be here when you’re ready for Round 2. Can’t wait to see how it evolves!
mid-writing question: what is foam pit foam and/or bolster foam made out of?
Foam pit foam and bolster foam are typically made from polyurethane foam, which comes in various densities and firmness levels. Here’s a quick breakdown:
Foam Pit Foam (Like in Gymnastics or Parkour Pits)
• Material: Low-dens
Stop
Got it! Back to writing. 🚀
that’s enough thanks
No problem! Keep at it, and I’ll be here when you need me. 🚀
mid-writing question: tell me briefly, bullet point style, about the twins from alice in wonderland
Sure! Here’s a brief bullet-point breakdown of the Twins from Alice in Wonderland (Tweedledee & Tweedledum):
• Appear in Through the Looking-Glass (not the first Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland).
• Chubby, childlike, and nearly identical — often speak in riddles and rhymes.
• Constantly argue but never actually fight — their conflicts are often pointless.
• Recite the “Walrus and the Carpenter” poem to Alice.
• Easily distracted — often get sidetracked mid-conversation.
• Wear matching outfits (usually red/white, with beanies or propeller hats in adaptations).
• Despite bickering, they are inseparable — one without the other feels incomplete.
Would you like any specific insights based on how they relate to Pol’s twins?
have their been any variations in how they have been depicted?
Yes! Tweedledee and Tweedledum have had many variations over the years, depending on the adaptation. Here’s a quick breakdown of the major ways they’ve been depicted:
Original Book (1871) — Lewis Carroll
• Plump, identical boys with round faces.
• Dressed in matching outfits with short jackets and collars.
• Childlike but cryptic — they recite poems and engage in silly but philosophical wordplay.
• Not actually in Wonderland — they appear in Through the Looking-Glass.
*2. Disney’s Animated Alice in Wonderland (1951)
• Bright red & yellow outfits, blue bowties, and propeller hats.
• More comedic and exaggerated, behaving like bumbling buffoons.
• Hyperactive and mischievous, often moving in sync.
• Engage in silly arguments that escalate into slapstick.
*3. Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland (2010)
• Played by Matt Lucas, created with CGI to look identical.
• Darker, slightly grotesque design — round, pale, with exaggerated childlike features.
• Less comedic, more eerily unsettling.
• Still bicker constantly, but they’re more helpful to Alice in the story.
**4. American McGee’s Alice (2000) — Horror Version
• Terrifying, skeletal, doll-like figures with stitched-up grins.
• Represents twisted childhood innocence — they are disturbing rather than goofy.
• Often used as nightmare fuel in horror interpretations.
*5. Other Adaptations & Variations
• Sometimes depicted as grown men in circus-style outfits (stage versions).
• Some versions emphasize their argument as a literal battle — they fight with weapons instead of just words.
• Some gender-swap them or make them more sinister.
Key Takeaways for You:
• They are always arguing but never actually enemies.
• Some versions make them silly, others make them unsettling.
• They are inseparable, which could be a fun parallel for Pol’s own twins.
Do any of these versions inspire how you want to handle Pol’s siblings?
totally off topic, but aren’t there twins in the Labyrinth as well?
Yes! In Labyrinth (1986), there are twin characters called “The Guards” (sometimes referred to as The Door Knockers or The Riddle Guards).
The Twin Guards — Key Details:
• They guard two doors — one leads to safety, the other to certain doom.
• They are identical but opposites — one always tells the truth, the other always lies.
• Sarah must solve their riddle to choose the correct door.
• Their constant arguing and contradiction make it difficult to know who is telling the truth.
Possible Connection to Alice’s Tweedles?
• Like Tweedledee and Tweedledum, they argue endlessly but don’t actually fight.
• Both pairs trap the protagonist in circular logic and word games.
• The riddle aspect makes them more cerebral versions of the Tweedles.
Other “Twin-Like” Characters in Labyrinth
• The Door Knockers (the ones hanging on doors) also come in a pair — one can’t hear because a ring is in his ears, the other can’t speak because a ring is in his mouth.
• Hoggle & Sir Didymus have a bickering, oppositional dynamic, though they aren’t twins.
Why’d You Ask?
Are you thinking about tweaking the twin dynamic in your story to include a logic game, riddle, or opposing personalities like these? 🤔
trying to figure out what the underlying thematic message is to having coming of age characters face twin siblings with bickering identities who they must solve problems or riddles for or trick to get past
Oooooh, great question. There’s definitely a recurring thematic reason why coming-of-age protagonists face bickering twin-like characters — whether it’s Tweedledee & Tweedledum, the Labyrinth Guards, or even other literary “dual” figures.
Underlying Themes & Symbolism of Twin Oppositional Figures in Coming-of-Age Stories
1. Duality of Choice — No Clear Answers
• Growing up means making choices without perfect information.
• The twins often present a paradox (both are wrong / both are right / you must choose between them).
• This represents a protagonist’s struggle with uncertainty and self-doubt — no longer having the safety of childhood where right/wrong was clear.
• Example: Labyrinth’s riddle forces Sarah to realize that sometimes, logic fails, and you have to take a risk.
2. Internal Conflict — The Two Sides of the Protagonist
• The twins often reflect two parts of the hero’s own psyche — naïve vs. jaded, hope vs. cynicism, chaos vs. order.
• Example: Tweedledee & Tweedledum’s nonsense forces Alice to accept that not everything in life will make sense.
• Example: The Labyrinth Guards represent the challenge of figuring out truth vs. deception — a core struggle for Sarah.
3. The Illusion of Control — Playing by Someone Else’s Rules
• The twins often present a game or riddle with arbitrary, sometimes unfair rules.
• This mimics adulthood’s harsh reality — sometimes, systems are rigged, contradictory, or impossible to win outright.
• The protagonist must learn to think outside the game rather than play by the imposed rules.
• Example: Sarah in Labyrinth realizes the game is unwinnable in a fair way, so she outsmarts it instead.
4. The Folly of Petty Conflict — Seeing the Bigger Picture
• Twins bicker over meaningless things — often mirroring conflicts the hero is stuck in.
• The protagonist must recognize that the fight itself is pointless — a lesson in letting go of trivial struggles.
• Example: If Pol’s twins argue over “who gets her room,” it could mirror her parents’ financial arguments or her own fight to cling to a scholarship that’s already lost.
5. A Trickster Test — Proving Readiness for the Next Step
• The twins act as gatekeepers — protagonists must solve their puzzle, trick them, or recognize their irrelevance to move forward.
• This is a rite of passage. The hero learns they don’t have to accept the world’s rules as given.
• Example: Tweedledee & Tweedledum force Alice to engage in nonsense until she stops playing along.
• Example: The Labyrinth Guards force Sarah to realize she can’t always “logic” her way through things.
How This Applies to Pol & Her Twins
• Pol’s twin siblings could embody the “black-and-white thinking” she used to have.
• They argue over a trivial issue (her room, school, rules, etc.), forcing her to see the bigger picture — that their argument doesn’t actually matter.
• She tries to “win” their debate but realizes there’s no winning, just moving forward despite the chaos.
• This mirrors her larger journey: She can’t control the “game” (her injury, AI ruining her career, insurance problems), but she can decide how she plays it.
Final Thought:
Bickering twins exist in coming-of-age stories because adolescence is about learning that the world is contradictory, often unfair, and full of impossible choices. The protagonist must stop playing by arbitrary rules, recognize nonsense for what it is, and forge their own path forward.
For Pol, her twins can serve as a small-scale metaphor for the larger struggles she’s facing — one where there is no perfect answer, only action.
Does this spark anything for you? 🚀
Hmmm.. that could work. Just seems really on the nose….
Totally fair! If it feels too obvious, we can subtly layer it in rather than making the twins a direct, in-your-face metaphor. Here are ways to dial it down while keeping the thematic weight:
Let the Twins’ Arguments Be Background Noise Until It Clicks
• Instead of Pol actively engaging with their fight, their constant bickering is just part of her environment.
• The reader only realizes the parallel between them and Pol’s struggles later, when it becomes relevant.
• Example:
• At first, Pol tunes them out. Their fighting is just another part of the chaos in her house.
• Later, one of them says something dumb but weirdly insightful (“You don’t have to win, you just have to finish the game.”)
• That line sticks with her in the game later, when she’s realizing the trap she’s in.
2. Make Their Arguments Less “Big Life Question” and More Trivial
• Instead of them arguing about fairness or deep themes, they’re fighting over something laughably dumb.
• This makes it feel natural and not forced, but still mirrors Pol’s situation in a quiet way.
• Example:
• The twins are fighting about who actually won at a video game last night.
• One is arguing by rules, the other is arguing by spirit of the game.
• Pol is annoyed at how much they care — but later realizes she’s been obsessing over the exact same kind of lost cause (her scholarship, the AI ruining her career, etc.).
3. Let Pol Have a Delayed Realization (or No Realization At All)
• The twins don’t have to be “wise teachers” or even important to Pol’s arc.
• Instead, the audience sees the parallel, but Pol never fully acknowledges it.
• Example:
• The twins argue over who gets her room if she doesn’t go to college.
• Their logic is selfish, chaotic, and ridiculous.
• Pol gets mad at them for caring about something so trivial when everything is falling apart.
• But to them, that’s the biggest concern they can grasp right now — just like Pol’s been grasping at her own “biggest concerns.”
• She never explicitly connects it, but the reader does.
4. The Twins as a More Direct but Lighthearted Game Foreshadowing
• Instead of being a deep metaphor, their bickering prepares Pol (and the reader) for how Wonderland functions.
• Their fights are nonsensical, circular, and impossible to resolve — just like the game later.
• Example:
• The twins ask her to solve an argument and both reject her answer immediately.
• No matter what she says, they find a way to twist it.
• This foreshadows the game’s rules later, where no “right answer” will satisfy the system.
Final Thought: Subtle Beats, Not a Heavy-Handed Lesson
• If it feels too “on the nose,” the best fix is to let the twins be themselves and let the meaning emerge naturally.
• They don’t have to give Pol an epiphany — they just need to exist in a way that resonates later.
• The audience noticing the connection is enough — Pol doesn’t have to.
Do any of these toned-down approaches feel better to you? Or do you want to take it in a totally different direction?
Hmmm… this is all really good food for thought. I think maybe I’ll just see where the twins take things organically as I write while keeping all this in the back of my mind.
That sounds like a great plan! Let them unfold naturally, and if anything clicks as you write, you can always adjust later. 🚀 Keep going — excited to see where this takes you!
I just realized how long this episode is getting 😱 better end it here and start episode 6 with the second rough draft. Thoughts?
That sounds like a perfect stopping point! Episode 6 can kick off fresh with the second rough draft, making it a natural transition for readers. 🚀 Looking forward to it!
Stay tuned! Traditional rough draft of the complete chapter one is coming in the next episode 😊
Trying to write on your phone sounds miserable. It feels like Chat is trying to lead you down a bunch of rabbit holes rather than help you focus.