The First Brologue: Ancient Smart Stuff

The first bros to ever discuss the necessity of bro words being passed on to future bros. (aka - A humorous take on the possible miscommunicated origins of some of the most infamous biblical tales)

Authors Note:

The purpose behind all Ancient Brologues are to provide a rough translation from the traditionally oral and inebriated communication stylings of ancient Fratbronese into a middle-ground written variant of modern American English: Bromish.

It is important to note that in both the oral and text translations, the terms “dude, bro, brah, man, my guy, bruh, broseph, and dude bro,” are all non-gendered and unrelated to ones ethnicity, race, or social class. Once you are a bro, you are, henceforth, always a bro. This was always true then as much as it has always been true in modern day times forever and always with no complications or problematic indications what-so-ever that this author should be sensitive to or aware of and could therefore be accused of infranchising upon or discrediting within this academic undertaking, for this is a work of science and science does not flinch from truth. And the truth, dear reader, is that this is how the people of that day and age did talk t…